Dynamic Duos: Father and Son

Max D. and David D.

Father's Perspective 

When Max was in kindergarten, he drew a picture of himself cycling along as I ran a loop in Central Park. That picture captured the beginning of what has developed into a wonderful aspect of our relationship. And it has expanded over the years so that Max now joins my running gang when he is home from school (whether or not I am around). 

As a father, I enjoy having opportunities for alone time with each of our sons (mostly skiing with our younger son James). Running has provided a valuable connection for Max and me so that even when he is away at school we can collaborate on his or my running goals (for me, Berlin this fall). It has added a valuable dimension to our already strong relationship that hopefully will continue for many years.

Son's Perspective 

When I was a kid, I always wanted to run a marathon. I had seen my Dad run so many marathons and cheered him on thinking it was the coolest and toughest thing a person could do. The distance, the pain, and then every time, as soon as it was over, the desire to start training to run another one. When I was little, my brother and I used to ride our bicycles while my dad ran, but I always thought about running myself.  

Father's Perspective 

Max and I started regularly running together during a vacation in Hawaii. There was no prompting from me. As I was heading out to run with a friend he asked if he could join us. “Why not?” 

I thought he'd make it a mile or two. But four miles later he was still sailing along. That was about seven years ago (he was 13 at the time) and Max has been running ever since.  

In 2011, when Max was 17 years old, he told me he wanted to run a marathon. I thought “really?!?” I ran my first marathon when I was 32 (not much for distances when I was young). 

We agreed to aim for the 2012 Philadelphia marathon, which I intended to run with some friends. I worked out a training plan and we ran together through much of that summer. Max headed off to his freshman year of college and had to do many long runs by himself. But I had no doubt he would stick to the training schedule – he is quite goal oriented.  

Son's Perspective 

One day I asked to run with my Dad in the park, so he took me on a reservoir loop.  And I hated it.  It was so hard, I was out of breath, I couldn't imagine doing it for any longer.  And yet one day on vacation in Hawaii I thought “Well that was a while ago maybe I'll give it another shot,” and all of a sudden it wasn't terrible, and I really made it the whole way.  

So when we got back to the city I started going on Saturday runs with my Dad and his running group and that was really the start of both my running and the close bond I have with my Dad over it. At that time it was just weekly running, but then after some cross country in high school I started running daily with him on school breaks, and it is really something that has let us remain close even when I'm off at school. 

New England Relay Race

It wasn't until I graduated high school that marathon running seemed possible. Many people thought I was insane to juggle marathon training with my first semester of college and being on the crew team. I just kept thinking that that was exactly what inspired me about my Dad, the fact that running was just something that happened before the start of the rest of the day.  It didn't matter what else was going on, there was the commitment to wake up at 5:30 in the morning to get in the day's training.  

And so I got in all my distance going into Philadelphia, although most of it was a full minute slower than I was planning on running the marathon, and I definitely didn't feel like adding a 10K to the end of my 20 mile training runs.  

Father's Perspective 

On the day of the marathon, Max told me he was concerned that he could not hold a pace of 8 minutes per mile (our agreed upon pace). I tried to keep him calm and we headed off with me holding Max back from starting out too quickly.  

At mile 21 or so he looked loose and relaxed so I told him to go crazy – and off he went, running about a 7 minute pace for the final 5 miles.  

That race was definitely one of my fondest father-son memories. It also was likely the last time we will race together – he is now much faster than I am. Max has now completed three marathons (New York in 2013 and Buffalo just recently) and is planning another assault on Philadelphia this fall. 

At Niagra Falls After the Buffalo Marathon

Son's Perspective 

And so the morning of the marathon I told my Dad of my concerns and he just told me to trust my training and that I would be fine. I, and probably he, at this point had no doubt that I would be the slower of the two of us. And the Phildelphia Marathon that year had mistakenly placed the 2-mile mark a little late, and so when we finished the 2nd mile I remember thinking, “We've slowed down already? I can't imagine going faster,” but then we kept going, and it was really great to just be running with my Dad. In a lot of ways it felt like we were just doing a loop in the park together like usual. Everyone had told me that at some point I was going to hit a wall, but at mile 20 I realized that I felt great, and that with 10K left I was going to make it.  

I'm not sure what happened, but my Dad just told me to take off and there I went from like 8 minute miles down to 7 minute miles and finished stronger than I've almost ever felt during a race. That was probably the first day I had ever finished a race ahead of my Dad (and not just like a foot ahead because I sprinted out with 10 feet to go like he used to let me when we ran some NYRR races together when I was 13).  

And it was incredible because for the first time I didn't just feel like my Dad was taking me along running, but that we were running together. And for a moment I got to experience what I had spectated so many times and I finally got it. It felt amazing.  I'll never forget the look of pride on my Dad's face, it made all the weeks of running alone at school completely worth it.  

At the 2012 Philly Marathon

And really, by training for that race, and since then, I really feel like running is something special we just have together, and that no matter what else is going on it's something we'll always have to bond over.  Even if I don't call home for a while we are always in touch about training and it's a way I feel connected to my Dad that I can't imagine not having.

-David D and Max D