Running Etiquette, Part 1

(Or Possibly The Most Disgusting Blog Entry You’ve Read Recently)

Snot-rocket! There – I’ve said it. That’s why I joined a running club, in fact: so I could discuss bodily functions and conditions such as digestive ills, blisters, and chafing in strange places, with relative impunity. Or at least without feeling like a freak. Too much. But just because we runners let it all hang out in discussion doesn’t mean we shouldn’t keep things buttoned up a bit where etiquette’s concerned. I’m serious. Keep a lid on it, please. Or at least a Kleenex®. Observe: Runner Number 1 turns to empty his sinuses sans tissue. Or hand. You know: the aforementioned snot-rocket. Hapless Runner Number 2, just downwind, looks up, mouth wide open as he gasps for air... I’ll stop there. Not only is this just plain vile, but depending on wind, ambient temperature, viscosity, etc., could actually be dangerous. (Don’t even get me started on bacteria and viruses and the indignity of having to stop to wipe a stranger’s effluvium off your sunglasses. Or worse – out of your eyes.) Look before you snort, is all I’m saying. (Personally, I’d prefer if you’d hide behind a tree as well, though I suppose I’m in the minority on that point.)

Speaking of behind a tree, consider the forest your phone booth when nature calls. Or some shrubs, at least. Not a bridge railing, or the curb, or somewhere else that leaves you exposed to any passer-by with the misfortune of glancing your way just as you drop your pants. Or worse. And that’s only if a “proper” receptacle (portable toilet, public restroom, bathroom of a well-meaning but naive spectator) cannot reasonably be found.

Now let’s go back in time a bit, to before you’ve drunk the water or energy beverage or pre-race pilsener that made you need that tree to begin with. In the immortal words of the legendary Ed A. – “It’s a water station, people; not a water stop.” So act like a car and think gas station: signal your intent to grab race refreshment and slow down and look before merging – carefully – towards the outside lane. But don’t stop there: grab a cup – really, any cup will do – and keep moving until you’ve either drunk your water or found a place to stop on the side of the course and away from the flow of traffic. Don’t. Just. Stop.
O.K., we’ve covered intake and output, though not in that order. That should do for now. Let’s revisit running etiquette again next time – I promise to keep the gross-factor to a minimum if you leave us a comment with your biggest running etiquette question or complaint.

In the meantime, won’t you please settle a dispute for me? I stopped to use a public water fountain during a run last week but decided to continue without relieving my thirst after seeing a runner ahead of me rinse out her mouth and spit water back into the fountain. I thought that was repulsive and almost confronted her for what seemed like such a blatant breach of sports etiquette. I came home thirsty and ranting and was shocked – shocked! – to hear my husband say he does that all the time. What say you, dear Flyer blog buffs: take a step or two away and spit discreetly into the grass, or treat the public water fountain like your own personal dentist’s sink so that anyone unlucky enough to get there after you is forced to share your germs and watch your mucous spinning around and clogging up the drain?
Please do let me know! - The Ranting Runner

(Ed. note: Can you blame her for wanting to remain anonymous? All I asked for was a little Miss Manners and this is what I got... Be glad I added very few links, and chose images very conservatively.)